Mid Morning Bath

the water rises.
hot then warm then cool.
the foam suffocates.
then dissipates.
soon my own flesh can be seen.
so far under my wrinkling hands grip porcelain.
grip something.
invisible tears

"sleep in the bed you make"

surround my fragile being.
unseen pain

"because of your divorced family"

sweats through my skin.
undetectable yearning

"prove yourself to me"

swims towards the drain.


you say i cant do better.
you have no idea i already have.

It Feels like a Monday

My first sip of coffee
warming my insides
My tired eyes
seeking a true world

Ready or Not - The Submarines

the grass and i part our ways.
i say goodbye.
anxious feelings of winter return.
a sort of trapped feeling.
the yellow bird in her cage.
swinging back and forth.
attempting to break free.

"can you love the way you live now?
ready or not
we are going to be here tomorrow.
wild with hope
in spite of everything."

could this december be different?
have a i learned my lessons?
can i maintain my own warmth?
be my own grass
green and life giving?

"everyday feels like a brand new chance to fall apart
while all the while your only doing the best you can."

or will i always be the yellow bird?
carrying around her luck
with the feathers on her back?