complementary

i thoroughly love art school.
(thank you david shrigley)

A Night in the House in the Woods

i arrived late to my father's empty house.
the car door echoed into the crisp autumn air.
shadows fell across my crooked path to the door.
the house was ghostly silent from the outside in.
a quiet i forgot existed.
but it was the night i took the music box apart.
the one my Nana {rip} would keep under her coffee table.
the slender screws fell into my hand as i disassemble the object.
i craved to hear its melody once more.
to break the silence; connect with my past.
a feeling that brings a human alive.
the dust gathered on my fingers.
the twist knob spun freely.
the music began to wine.
it slowly began telling a story.
a princess waiting for her prince.
the castles mote. the white horse.
a now haunting melody of childhood.
and it was the same night i found my parents wedding album.
my mother's smile glistened.
and my father looked so proud.
so put together.
my beautiful family.
an album of ghosts.
i could feel my blood run cold.
bitter.
and the night became alive.
the coyotes never stopped chattering.
the memories never stopped spinning.
the music box wining on.
all night.

Fear

our biggest fear as human beings
is taking the risk
to truly be


alive

lately.

at night.
when things are dim.
and my mind is quiet.
i miss You.
terribly.
and it draws me to tears.
and the inside of me reaches outward.
grasping for Your presence.

i become scared of life.
scared of myself.
like i am too far away.
from everything.
the distance swells.
then blackout.

i rarely dream.
i just fall.
and in these moments.
i become myself.
i become alive.