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swollen and crusty around the eyes
my face feels heavy
my body feels numb
i am numb
from my head to my heart
i question if the blood is still pulsing
i try coffee
a cigarette
some cereal
some sleep
but my own cries keep echoing
off my apartment walls
like ghosts from the past
still tooling around

an ocean between us
i sink below the waves
for relief
until my lungs fill up
and i bob to the surface
swollen and crusty
blue and white
salt water and heartache
fight and surrender