Lasting thoughts after long nights

I am not sad or mad;

I am alone.

I do not crave attention:

I make plans.

I reminisce less;

Like you.

I have become comfortable with my own conversation.

When my body gets too big and craves to be held, I do not turn to another.

I simply break down

on my bed

(or in my car)

and cry. 

"Crying"

doesn't last as long as it used to. 

I let my pain fill me up.

I accept my present existence. 

I know myself better every day.

My reflections.
My comparisons.
My anxiety of understanding

or the lack thereof.

I want you to know my being like you know your own -
without distance.
I want you to know my heart like you know your own -
without question.