wish you were here

we're just two lost souls swimming in a bowl,
year after year.

as lonely as the shadow on the wall.
i anticipate the empty house.

(since we haven't talk)
darkness seeps in.
easier.

the realization of a deep emptiness inside.

enough to hold all the rain in the sky.
tears no one will notice.

i remember i am alone.

a mother's words-

"you are brave."

-i never thought of myself as that.-

"well you are, most girls wouldn't be able to be as confident as you."

(another foreign words- confidence.)
when no one is around,
you learn all to well of yourself.

(you get sick of looking at yourself in the mirror)

nights become very long;
very quiet.

and days are a blur.

sleeping becomes an escape.
a retreat amid the spinning tornado.

and i wonder,
those who encounter the disaster ahead innocently,
do they realize exactly what they have been through when it has passed?

can you grow alone,
amongst a gravel road?

or do you continue to shift in your chair?
keep talking.
eye contact.
listen closely.
(but so far away.)

you leave the room and the relief is brief.