i have been telling those who ask, "i am finally happy; happier than i have ever been."
those reply, "i am happy for you."
but i return to this page and try to write those feelings that come up when life spins silent.
those feelings that grab the back of my throat.
those images that shake my mind.
those parts of me no one knows.
and all of those things that prove those first words of mine to be,
dramatically,
false.
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