Two letters to Two lovers

I want you both to know, and believe that I have loved you. My love for each of you is far from the same. I know the love you have for me is not alike as well.
- I loved you for your acceptance. I loved you for your mind and your ideology. I loved you for your creativity, your knowledge, and your tenderness towards my difficult personality. I loved you for the dream we created that August so long ago.
-I loved you for your companionship and loyalty. I loved you for your soft heart and your passionate temper. I loved the reality of our relationship and the bittersweet journey you chose to walk with me. Although I loved you for many different reasons,  I also have strayed from both of you equally.
-The perfectness and personal growth we experienced during our first few months was inspiring and terrifying. Like everything in my life that is either good or subject to change, I run from. The intoxication of your presence became an obsession. College was too far away and our relationship became empty; physically.
And that is when I fell for -. The rebellious nature of our relationship attracted me deeper into our time together. You became my battle and my very best friend. I fought for you and held you tight. Our time together was excessive, and I enjoyed almost every minute of it's chaos; until your temper and your stubbornness got in the way. The tension between us grew. Our fights became repetitive. I came down on myself hard. I was going to self destruct if my point was not made clear, or understood.
But I missed you painfully once I left. My pride and independence was empty. I did not know what to do with my freed self.
-I know you love me for my grace, my ear, and my mystery. But your lifestyle is far less mature than mine. When we are apart, you are someone else.
-The confidence you brought me was abundant. I know you see my beauty, and our attraction for one another has never faded. But the grudges you carry, and the habits you contain is lifeless. I know you think I have a pretty face, but I dont think you have ever cared to realize my soul.
I dont know what will become of this mess. I dont even know who I, myself, should become. But I do know that I loved you both very dearly. You both have been influential and significant to my becoming for several years. You both are a part of me.
Now bid you both an adieu.
Sincerely,
Cari