Today i went to breakfast with my dad. I didn't tell him about the ghosts. Instead we talked about art school, and eggs-over-easy, and missing people, and flat tires. Someone said hi to him and he said hi back. And then we talked about that for some time too. I wanted to cry. I really dont know why. But the tears stuck around for a while after. They hung out all day. Swirling with my contacts, teasing my mascara. I never did cry.
Does that make me better?
I took a very long nap before noon. The sun was very bright in my room, but i still managed to sleep. I even dreamed. I dreamed about sleeping. When i woke up in my dream the clock said 3:50 PM. My room was a mess, like someone came in and searched for something. Then i really woke up. It was only 1:38 PM. My room was still a mess, but i knew no one was in it. Only me, and the very bright sun.
Taylor and I had coffee for a dollar eighty. Tis the season with Apple Cinnamon and Java. She was grounded but we still talked. It was nice. Until the vacuum started. I brought her home and the lake was all glassy. Light yellow and cornflower blue. Some ducks floated on top. I wonder if they get scared of fish biting their toes like i do?
The bike ride was fabulous. Made my heart beat faster than it has for a while. The crisp air all cold and fast against my nose. I was home in 38 minutes, right before dark. The time of day when the sky begins to close its eye lids and everything becomes fuzzy. I came home at that time and screeched my tires against the drive way. That made me smile.
My mom seemed sad when i walked in. She sat at the computer with her checkbook and droopy shoulders. She smelled like leaves and i wish she would have hugged me. I could have smelt the leaves more. My sister was gone. Again. I miss her i think. And next year i will be gone. This fact is a little devastating.
Now the moon moves outside of the window. Maybe ill watch it for a while.
Does that make me better?
I took a very long nap before noon. The sun was very bright in my room, but i still managed to sleep. I even dreamed. I dreamed about sleeping. When i woke up in my dream the clock said 3:50 PM. My room was a mess, like someone came in and searched for something. Then i really woke up. It was only 1:38 PM. My room was still a mess, but i knew no one was in it. Only me, and the very bright sun.
Taylor and I had coffee for a dollar eighty. Tis the season with Apple Cinnamon and Java. She was grounded but we still talked. It was nice. Until the vacuum started. I brought her home and the lake was all glassy. Light yellow and cornflower blue. Some ducks floated on top. I wonder if they get scared of fish biting their toes like i do?
The bike ride was fabulous. Made my heart beat faster than it has for a while. The crisp air all cold and fast against my nose. I was home in 38 minutes, right before dark. The time of day when the sky begins to close its eye lids and everything becomes fuzzy. I came home at that time and screeched my tires against the drive way. That made me smile.
My mom seemed sad when i walked in. She sat at the computer with her checkbook and droopy shoulders. She smelled like leaves and i wish she would have hugged me. I could have smelt the leaves more. My sister was gone. Again. I miss her i think. And next year i will be gone. This fact is a little devastating.
Now the moon moves outside of the window. Maybe ill watch it for a while.
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